The conversation went like this 'I am never going to be one of those old guys crying into their pints about missing the auld sod'. We vowed this to each other when newly arrived on foreign shores. Over the years this turned into the conversation we never had about how hard it was to adapt and change to our new country. It wasn't cool to say 'it's hard' out loud. It wasn't cool to say 'how do I figure this out', 'how do I make the transition?'. So we'd meet in the pub on Friday night and someone would say 'where is Johnny?' and someone would reply "oh he upped and left for home yesterday'. Someone else would say 'he couldn't hack it' and that would be the end of the conversation.We were all afraid, afraid that it was contagious, afraid to talk about how we really felt, afraid to prove we weren't cool.If you are feeling torn between home and your new country, if you want to figure out a way to make your new life work better for you I'd love to help so mailto:martinetheirishgenealogycoach@gmail.com to request a free 20min solution session today.
This song catches my heart every time I hear it. There is so much pressure on women to 'make nice'. Have you ever felt it? I certainly have! I remember once as a young woman, a priest telling me that I MUST forgive a wrong that was done to me. I stood in the middle of a busy street as he berated me and I had no words for how I felt. Instinctively, I knew that what he was saying was wrong. Instinctively, I knew that without a clear acknowledgement of wrongdoing and a sincere attempt to change an unjust system, forgiveness was not the issue.
But I was a young Irish Catholic woman, so I did not reply. I walked away in humiliation and tears. That was 20 something years ago but I can still remember how I felt.
What I know now for certain is that 'making nice' is NEVER a good thing. It cripples the spirit. It helps to perpetuate injustice and wrongdoing.
Finding my truth, finding peace inside, is however a totally different matter. It makes me strong. It helps me stand up and be counted without harming myself. It helps me feel compassion for myself, for the pain I have experienced. But finding my truth also gives me a real sense of pride in myself, a pride in what I have achieved and what I will go on to achieve. Finding my truth helps me to live in today, a today where I have the power to speak my mind and work for change where it is needed. Finding Your Truth can do that for you too.
Some people say love is blind. I disagree. It is infatuation that is blind. To my mind, real love means I will tell you the truth, my truth, the truth of my experience. Love also means that I will listen to you as you tell me your truth, no matter how painful that is.
Truth has been in short supply in Ireland for many years.
Bankers and developers have told lies.
The clergy have told lies.
The government have told lies.Political parties have told lies.The Health Services have told lies.(This is not a complaint, but a simple statement of fact.)Lies permeate every facet of our culture.And there is nothing more destructive to any relationship than lies.So what can we do?Do we sweep the lies under the carpet?Do we perpetuate the lies by pretending there has been no injustice?Do we give in to the learned helplessness of our colonial experience?Or do we take responsibility for bringing about change to the best of our ability?Edmund Burke wrote "For the triumph of evil it is only necessary that good men do nothing." This is what we could become in Ireland now, a whole load of good people doing nothing. Is this what we want for ourselves and our children? Do we perpetuate the injustices of the recent past or the present by saying and doing nothing? Do we, as a people, wish to see evil triumph?You see I don't believe that we do. I just think that most of us do not know what to do. We are full of feelings of helplessness. We say to ourselves 'what is the point of doing anything, no-one is listening.' I understand that feeling. I understand the desire to give up and hope it will all go away. Unfortunately, the problems we are facing are not going to go away. I believe the solution is simple but not necessarily easy. We must begin to tell the truth. When we see or hear of civil rights violations we must speak out. Whether the issue is the rape and assault of children, violence against women, theft by politicians, bankers and developers, the removal of vital health services from people with disabilities or unjust taxes. We must open our mouths and speak out. Those who have done wrong must be held accountable for their actions.We must not fall into the trap that we have no time for justice because our country is in the red. We are in the red because of lies and only the truth will bring about real and lasting change.So if you love your country as I do, do not stand by and watch her destroy herself. Take a stand for what is right in whatever way you can. Stand up for the elderly person, who contributed to this country all their life, dying on a trolley in a hospital corridor. Stand up for the person being denied access to their birth or medical records. Stand up for the school children being denied a proper education. Stand up for the people losing their homes because of the developers. Do something, no matter how small. Tell the truth no matter how faintly. Let your love of our country be an active thing. Let your love of Ireland be an honest and truthful thing. Be one of the good men and good women who do not allow evil and lies to triumph. Read on for Truth No. 2
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