The actor John Hurt participated in the British genealogy programme Who Do You Think You Are? He was shocked to discover that no link can be found at this time between his family and that of the Marquis of Sligo.
MB; My heart went out to you yesterday when I saw you on Who Do You Think You Are? How are you feeling now?
JH; My heart is broken.
MB; Tell me some more about that?
JH; My Irish identity has always meant so much to me. I felt such an amazing sense of homecoming when first I arrived here. I felt sure I could feel the call of my ancestors, blood calling to blood...I felt connected to something so much more than me.
MB; And now?
JH; I feel rootless...that it was all a fantasy conjured up by a man who wanted to make himself far more important than he really was...
MB; Walter Lord Brown?
JH; Yes...
MB; Tell me more about how you used to feel about being Irish?
JH; I identified with the sadness I see in Irish people, their courage, the dark humour in times of trouble, the sense of triumphing over obstacles, the poetry, the music. I absolutely love the place, the countryside, the surprise little gems that one can find just around the corner. Ireland was my home, my son was born in Portlaoise. I feel that all of this that I love and cherish has been taken from me. I feel cheated.
MB; Cheated of your birthright?
JH; Exactly!
MB; And how are you feeling now?
JH; Angry, really angry!
MB; Say some more about this anger?
JH; I am excluded now...excluded from the only club I ever wanted to belong to...
MB; Who or what is excluding you?
JH; The actions of Walter Lord Brown of course! (impatiently)
Silence, dare I risk saying what I am thinking?
MB; Walter Lord Brown is dead.
JH; Precisely!
More silence.
JH; Are you trying to tell me that the actions of a dead man need have no influence over me today?
Silence as I see that he is pursuing this line of thought.
MB; "the actions of a dead man need have no influence" over you today?
JH; That is quite possible.
MB; Would you allow a living person to have such an influence over you? Or steal from you what you believe is rightfully yours?
JH; Absolutely not!
MB; I didn't think so somehow.If you enjoyed this imaginary conversation, maybe you would like to mailto:martinetheirishgenealogycoach@gmail.com to set up a real conversation about you and your Irish Identity.Martine
"I don't want to be Irish anymore," she cried as I sat with her. The silence deepened. "Tell me why," I said. Day turned to night as out tumbled a lifetime of hurts, neglect and abuse. Secrets spilled out on the floor in a jumble of pain and anger. Silence fell again. We were in London. It was finally safe enough for this pained Irish woman to talk about what had driven her out of her home and her country. My heart went out to her. She had carried her burdens alone and in silence for so many years. "How do you feel now?" I asked. "Relieved, cold, scared, scared something awful will happen now that I have spoken out" she whispered. I got a blanket for her and made some tea. I reminded her that what she said in the room would remain in the room. She studied me long and hard. Then she nodded when she knew I was telling the truth.She asked me then "But what will I do?" I chose my words carefully. I wanted to honour the moment, her courage, her pain. "If being Irish means being hurt, neglected and abused, I'm not surprised you don't want to be Irish" I said quietly. She looked surprised, and then nodded again as if to say go on. Again I paused, we were now at a crossroads in this journey together. All the compassion I felt for her was in my voice as I said softly and gently, "Is it true that being Irish means ONLY bad things?" Silence again, then a slow beautiful smile unfurled across her face as she said "No, no...it does not."Solutions is a gentle way for you to begin to reclaim YOUR truth, whether you are Irish or not. You are very welcome to check it out.
In the Gaelic, Sli na Firinne, (pro. shlee-nu-feer-in-eh), is the Path of Truth, but more than truth it is MY truth, my spiritual journey if you will.
It is the search for why am I here,
and why am I here?
In tracing our roots we begin to answer these questions.
When secrets are uncovered, we find this truth.
When we stop telling ourselves lies about ourselves, we find this truth.
When we own the gifts and shadows of our identity, we find this truth.
We find freedom, when we find this truth....
Freedom from and freedom to...
Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this freedom in Eat Pray Love.
Martha Beck writes about it in Leaving the Saints.
Maria Housden writes about it in Hannah's Gift
Alan Cooke talks about it in his film The Spirit of Ireland
Charles R. Hale writes about it at Stories connect, Love heals
Marie Ennis O'Connor is writing about it at Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer
Nona Jordan is helping many people to do it.
Look around you and see how many of us there are following Sli na Firinne, the Path of Truth.
You are not alone.
I am not alone.
Together we are changing our world.
Join people with Irish roots as we Explore Your Irish Identity here on Monday Jan 30th
Have you ever noticed how the shadows of the past can drown out the gifts? Have you ever wanted to really enjoy the gifts and not been able to? Have you ever felt that you have a bit of a juggling act going on? Then brother and sister, you are not alone. Being Irish is not a simple thing.
The struggles of our parents and grandparents left their mark on them, and on us. Our heritage, our identity is rich and vibrant. But it can also be painful. The drive to survive, literally to stay alive forced many of our people into desperate acts. Some of them were never able to make peace with the past. They locked it up in a vault, marked secret. They would not/could not speak of what they had experienced. Many adopted strategies to keep things under wraps which weren't always healthy.
This makes for many the uneasy family gathering. If you are Irish, you have probably attended at least one. I certainly have! There was the "talk/don't talk" rule. (Did you have this one?) "Be friendly and polite to everyone but don't talk about Auntie Mary in the mental hospital or the fact that your brother lost his job."
I don't advocate a 'bear your soul to the world' life strategy. But I am deeply aware today of the cost many of my clients have paid for keeping painful secrets. Some literally feel strangled by the family secrets. But even on a very simple level, if we are using lots of energy to avoid a part of our reality then how much is there left for us to enjoy life?If these thoughts resonate with you, join us for Your Irish Identity, Gifts and Shadows Webtalk Explore Your Irish Identity here
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