Someone got mad with me this week. She said she had tried EVERYTHING to resolve her complicated family relationship and NOTHING worked. God I know how she feels. I know that anger, that despair, that descent into helplessness. I too have watched that painful groove going deeper and deeper into the carpet until all I can think to do is give up and throw the **** carpet out.
Well here's the deal. We can't 'fix' them.' We can't. You are right! 
(I guess you weren't expecting that!) 
But there is SO much we can do for ourselves.

Viktor Frankl wrote "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." This is what family relationship resolution is all about. We change our thinking and our habitual responses to the behaviour of our family members. Much of the work is painless and fun. (I absolutely know that most of you don't believe me now, but it must be said.) 
No-one is 'past the point of rescue', not even you!