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"I don't want to be Irish anymore"

2/7/2012

8 Comments

 
"I don't want to be Irish anymore," she cried as I sat with her. The silence deepened. "Tell me why," I said. Day turned to night as out tumbled a lifetime of hurts, neglect and abuse. Secrets spilled out on the floor in a jumble of pain and anger. Silence fell again. We were in London. It was finally safe enough for this pained Irish woman to talk about what had driven her out of her home and her country.


My heart went out to her. She had carried her burdens alone and in silence for so many years. "How do you feel now?" I asked. "Relieved, cold, scared, scared something awful will happen now that I have spoken out" she whispered. I got a blanket for her and made some tea. I reminded her that what she said in the room would remain in the room. She studied me long and hard. Then she nodded when she knew I was telling the truth.

She asked me then "But what will I do?" I chose my words carefully. I wanted to honour the moment, her courage, her pain. "If being Irish means being hurt, neglected and abused, I'm not surprised you don't want to be Irish" I said quietly. She looked surprised, and then nodded again as if to say go on. Again I paused, we were now at a crossroads in this journey together. All the compassion I felt for her was in my voice as I said softly and gently, "Is it true that being Irish means ONLY bad things?" Silence again, then a slow beautiful smile unfurled across her face as she said "No, no...it does not."

8 Comments
A ONeal
2/7/2012 07:46:19 am

I found this very, very moving, and so honest and quite profound. What bravery for you, for the woman to speak something that so many feel, but privately. This is the beginning of healing...in its essence one is healed by saying the truth... Its truly ok to feel these things, the wounded soul of nation must speak now, for it to heal truly. Many Blessings to you and all the brave work that you do...

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Martine Brennan link
2/7/2012 08:47:19 am

Thank you so much A. It is such an honour to be with people in these moments, to witness the healing that comes only from speaking the truth.

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Mairead link
2/7/2012 02:16:30 pm

This is beautiful Martine. "Reclaiming the good bits of life" is a powerful statement, and the beginning of a profound journey. I am happy to learn this Irish woman has you to rely on as she proceeds on her journey, wherever it may lead.

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Martine Brennan link
2/9/2012 08:52:51 am

Thank you Mairead, your blog is one of the good bits in my life. I enjoy it very much. Maybe you would consider a guest blog here??

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Julia Barnickle link
2/8/2012 10:46:35 am

You have a real gift, Martine, for making that deep connection with a tormented soul. I'm sure that your Living With Gifts e-conversation will help a lot of people.

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Martine Brennan link
2/9/2012 08:55:41 am

Thank you Julia....you know more than most how much I love my work.

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rosilinda link
1/31/2013 07:18:15 am

hello i loved your story it was absolutley amazing im a 90 year old woman that loves reading books wait....... how did i get on a computer thank you for helping me find this story it reminds me of the 1905's it was and amazing experience

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Martine Brennan link
1/31/2013 03:23:05 pm

Welcome Rosilinda, it is so good to have you come visit with us. Martine

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