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And the tears came,
And I cried for days. And I was afraid the tears would never stop. And they stopped...but then they started again. And I learned how much I feared my pain. And I learned how much my friends feared my pain. And I learned how there are seasons to my grief. And I learned that trying to make myself stop doesn't work. And I became too tired to fight the tears. And I floated in my ocean of grief. And I did not drown. And I kept on looking for someone or something to hold onto. And I found my self. And I said to my self, 'I will not give up on you.' 'I will hold onto you.' And I am still here...
6 Comments
11/21/2012 03:34:49 pm
What a beautiful song by Simon and Garfunkel. I'm a fan but I've never heard that song. 11/21/2012 04:38:06 pm
It is indeed a beautiful song Anne. For me it expresses something of the seasons in our lives. I wrote this about my grief after my daughter Hannah died in 2004. The blog 'Remembering my daughter Hannah' is listed under Family in the side panel. I am so glad you found some comfort in my words. This is my hope when I write. Warm thoughts, Martine 11/23/2012 09:28:28 am
I want to add that your poem may be the most profound grief poem I have ever read. Or maybe it's just where I am at in my life. I wish I had had this knowledge when my brother was killed by a drunk driver in 1997. I was indeed drowning and no one came to the rescue. In fact, friends and church members made things worse. My grief didn't fit with their timetable or view of what Christianity was supposed to be. 11/24/2012 07:36:50 pm
There is such a freedom Anne when we realise that we can comfort ourselves and care for ourselves. We no longer have to wait for someone else to do something for us. The underlying theme of my Happiness book is exactly this 'what can I do for ME today?' It doesn't have to be a BIG something. It might only be a very small something. But if we keep doing some small thing every day, the light begins to come in. We learn by doing, that our happiness, our joy, is in our own hands. Many times we will feel that we are getting nowhere but if we persist, we begin to open up.Life begins to open up! I started out with 'my life is over because my baby died' and ended up with with 'my life is utterly changed because my daughter died.' I discovered that I can live with the fact that my life is utterly changed. And I can still find joy and meaning. Just as long as I take care of my self and hold onto my self... Leave a Reply. |
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